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Bullying at work advice for staff and employees

Amazon Best Sellers Our most popular products based on sales. Updated hourly. Jake Knapp. Chris Guillebeau. Co-Active Coaching, Fourth Edition: The proven framework for transformative conversations at work and in life. Karen Kimsey-House. Dale Van Atta. Happy Books Hub. Saundra Dalton-Smith. Liz Fosslien. Jennifer Petriglieri. ClydeBank Business. Brian P. Neil Pasricha. Michael Hyatt. Laura Vanderkam. Mastering Civility: A Manifesto for the Workplace.

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And humans are, by and large, concerned first and foremost with themselves, even if we manage to conceal that fact most of the time. Maybe not. If someone else on your team is underperforming and in no apparent danger of dismissal, then regardless of your fears, you could underperform for months with no risk. Not Kevin. First, understand this: you will suffer the worst if the overall quality of your organization is mediocre.

The greater the difference between your abilities and the abilities of those with whom you work, the less management will be capable of recognizing high performers. Remember, all those managers used to be mediocre employees. Their inclination will be to discount any complaints they hear. Second, if your abilities make others feel inadequate, your accomplishments will be minimized. Supposedly, if you have a bucket of crayfish 1 Tiny lobster-things. And then I tell you to click and read them anyway… for additional, slightly off topic but still interesting stuff.

Go ahead, try it. Click — click — click… they are coming for you. And there you are every single day doing more and getting it done faster. That cannot be acknowledged or it might crack the fragile self-image they work so hard to maintain. And the final reason why nothing in your job is going to change? Because your work neighborhood is dragging down your value. The price of the best house gets dragged down by the neighborhood average. Your work raises the average output of your team, but they gain more from this effort than you do.

So what can you do? I write about realistic answers to difficult situations. Any genuine effort at change must start with serious personal examination. Our only concern is how hard you are working in relation to your coworkers. But, still…be brutally honest: are you really working that much harder than everyone else? Day after day?


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Some people think about work all day and all night. Are you one of those people? But you should acknowledge it before you make any alterations to your work life. Do you make a point of telling other people how many hours you are putting in or how much work you bring home over the weekend? Is it important to your self-image that others perceive you to be an incredibly hard worker?

Do you like being the go-to person, in spite of how much work it involves?

What is the definition of Bullying & Harassment?

I dare you to share this:. No one but you? You may have lost friendships that have withered from lack of attention, or let family relationships grow tenuous. Who are they? And how have they been harmed? Assessing how you approach personal relationships … at your job and in your personal life. This is difficult to admit. We all look for approval to a certain extent. Is your automatic response to disapproval or imagined disapproval to dig in and work harder?

Both dedication and loyalty are awesome and admirable traits. Nothing to be ashamed of. Just something to be aware of that can be used against you by people with an agenda. As in, you will do nearly anything to avoid it, especially if they may express disappointment to your face? A lot of this comes from our formative years as children, not that it matters. This includes both work and non-work things. Many families are really good at guilting you into obligations, just like manipulative bosses.

Worse than bosses, actually. Or do you love it? If you love it, you are a unique individual. Not judging, just an observation. Because they underlie the reasons why you keep getting taken advantage of, no matter where you work. These are easier questions than those above. No introspection required. Remember the discussion of sales jobs above.

If there is a salary schedule based on position and time in service? Are there annual caps on raises? When raises are given only annually, it usually means that your boss and her boss have limited ability to pay you more. Or does it take an act of Congress to get a raise? Some companies are just not built to allow individual performers to stand out. Yes, high performance can pay off over time, but a plodding path must be followed to any reward. And there is no way to circumvent this route unless you are well-connected. Bottom line: Can you alter your relationship with your boss to discourage overwork?

Are you willing to do this? This means acting a little like people who get fewer tasks than you…acting a bit more like Kevin. Another consideration is whether you can change managers within your company, assuming there are other managers who treat their workers differently. If the entire problem is your particular boss, then seeking to change units or departments might be your best first step. Decision time Never expect that other people will change because you want them to. You can only change the way that you interact with them.

Sometimes acting differently will cause them to alter the way they treat you. Sometimes — or most times — not. You may not be up for the effort and consequences involved. Your personal life may not be in a position to be disrupted with drama.

There could be any number of reasons to let the proverbial sleeping dog lie. Your thoughtful analysis may lead you to the conclusion that you have to leave to improve your work life. But be warned: the cycle will repeat unless you change. Which is a whole other level of stress. Or you can join an organization that has extremely high expectations for all of its employees. High-pressure professional organizations often pay a lot more, but they really know how to squeeze the last drop of work out of you.

This is your big chance to change schools, so to speak. You know, like a teenager changing schools during summer break and taking the opportunity to create a new persona. Leaving behind the nerd caterpillar and emerging as the cool butterfly. Your instinct will be to throw yourself into your new job to prove how awesome you are, in the process revealing all your exceptional talents. Still giving your employer more than they expect, but not your full knock-it-out-of-the-park, hooked-on-overwork performance.

Remember: once you show superhuman powers, you can never scale back without being labeled a slacker — someone who is not living up to their full potential. Yes, to all who are shuddering at this prescription for succeeding in a new job, I did start off in the era when devoting yourself to your job earned steady pay increases and lifetime employment. Yes, the computers and robots really are making human labor an expensive luxury, and faster than you think.

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Bullying at work - Bullying in the workplace advice for employees

No company is going to keep you employed out of nostalgia for the old days. They are a commercial transaction: you work for a set period, you get paid for that time. But no guarantees for the future. Yes, even harder than starting a new job. Humans like to label because it makes it easier to deal with others if you can lump them all into categories.

You were either a member in good standing of the tribe, or you were not. Which was a pretty accurate and life-saving generalization for millions of years. As you have experienced, we are not well-served by this labeling instinct in the modern world. They will be just as disappointed that you are not living up to their expectations as your mother.

But somewhere in the volume of words that you spew, you have to communicate this:. What can be done? Note: You have not directly implicated your boss in overworking you. If it helps get the message across, this is also the time to reveal a socially acceptable reason for not working as hard.

Such as:. Who cares if they need to justify it in some way? You just want the result, which is lessening your own workload. Whether you have a discussion or not, you will have to move on to the next phase. Which is where it gets even harder. This is super hard. Which is way less than people are used to getting from you.

You are the best judge of how to avoid overwork in your particular situation, but consider the following. If someone wants something done, they need to ask. Every time you volunteer for more work, you set a new floor for what is expected of you. This means not scoring imaginary points for being the only person to meet the deadline.

Which in reality no one cares about. Which is why everyone but you blows it off. Choose a couple as your quick-response phrases. It will take every bit of strength you have to not allow coworkers to suck you in, even if you could do the task faster and they know it. They need to learn and grow and rise to challenges, just like you had to. You know, the other overwork adrenaline junkies. This process of realigning your relationship with bosses and coworkers could take a year or more. It may require some management turnover to really stick.

Leg 2: 90% of bosses don’t like conflict

No more long hours, no more weekend texts and calls. The world desperately needs people who are good at their jobs — there is a lot of important work that needs doing. Your world, however, desperately needs you. No one — no one — will ever fill this deepening hole in your life with magical appreciation or some equivalent amount of money that makes your grueling work schedule worthwhile. But you can chart your own course from this point forward. Serious self-examination is the first step, followed by letting go and realigning priorities. School trained us to expect automatic results in life, moving ahead every year.

How things got off track after graduation. This was absolutely fantastically well written, humorous at appropriate points, and overall just really high quality! I am totally subscribing and going to read everything else you write! You are dead on with this article. I had already come to this conclusion so I am changing jobs. Thanks for helping to clarify my decision!

Glad to help, Jennifer. It takes a lot of thinking before committing to a change of career… I wish you the best of luck in that endeavor. Hook, line, and sinker! Thank you!

Thanks for the feedback, Ashten. I appreciate it. This is awesome! Totally can relate to everything here. I quit my job, but failed to let go and after serious self examination I am ready to approach work on healthier terms. Pursuing my passions in writing, art and meditation is going to help me keep the balance. Marta, thanks for letting me know. Best of luck. Excellent article! And I know that life here is much harder for you than the others as a result of that.

It would have provided me with a personal map that I now know, four employers and many years later, to be absolutely true. My experience: Changing jobs to fix this pattern is akin to rearranging the chairs on the Titanic. Thank you. Human nature is a very frustrating thing, both the tendency to take advantage in others and the tendency for many of us to allow that in ourselves. I wish you look with your future. Thanks for stopping by. With having so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagiarism or copyright infringement?